Decibel Dodger Gifts

Man having thinning hair blasted by cafe speaker.

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

Car with enormous speakers, "I said, I love the speakers!"

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

"Truth, whole truth, nothing but the truth? I'm not ready for that much of a commitment."

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

'Maybe next concert we should ease up on the volume.'

Psychology: Module 1 . . . . Attention span.

Trying to come up with yet another password...

"Are you listening to me?"

'We see a lot of carpal tunnel syndrome caused by repetitious pushing of the tv mute button during the political ad season.'

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

'That's why your checkbook balance looks so good. You sent all of your online bills to the junk file.'

'Do you mind? I'm trying to read.'

"If you'd bullshitted your work like the rest of us, you'd be home by now."

"Yeah, almost didn't make it out of that one."

"You're suffering from banner blindness."

You are here... ...Run!!!

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

Don't forget to switch off your cellphones.

'The poor lamb's having a rest, Mum, exhausted after putting a new toilet roll on the holder...'

"So I'm thinking...why bother with all the junk mail?"

Cycling Deaths

'After a close examination I think I know why Tabatha keeps wandering onto busy roads.'

"Now that the person chewing gum so loudly has finally stopped, perhaps we can all pay attention to what I'm doing here."

'Phone-b-gone, gets rid of unwanted phones.'

Cone of Silence

The damage from wearing headphones.