Debt Comedians Pillows

"I've never needed health insurance - I just make sure that I always owe money to everybody."

"It's from your student loan office."

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Sorry, folks! The CEO and Board of Directors didn't show up.'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

"I know they say that laughter at work is healthy, but not when they're laughing at our profit forecasts!"

'This drug treats 'stock market jitters' but a side effect is 'irrational exuberance'.'

'This is the 'I Fell Behind On My Credit Card Payments, So They Took My Guitar Away Blues'. I'll be performing it a cappella.'

TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

"Love you, love us, and I'm comfortable with our debt level."

'He owes $30,000 for a degree in drama but right now he's not acting.'

Borrowed 200K for mime school

'You know, you're a real piece of work, Al.'

'Oh he's my loans officer.'

'The bank want to be sure that I don't vanish and forget the loan repayment...'

'Sorry, but Watford is not a tax heaven!'

Josh tests his theory that by driving backward through a quick-pass toll lane, he can get money ADDED to his credit card account.

IRS, 'How about that -- 100 unearned income.'

"The Scrimpshaws have finally decided to deposit their savings."

'Which health plan are you on?'

"Dancing with the liquidators."

'Even if your dog does do 'His Business' in your basement, you still can't deduct it as office space.'

If the Fed can loosen it's money supply, why can't you?

"I'm the Ghost of Christmas Debts Past."

HA HA PAID NO TAXES

"One last request: move my car to the 11:30 A.M. to 1 P.M. Monday -Thursday side of the street for tomorrow."

'Eddie, how about emerging Far East funds? The rumor is that China will come out with a velcro chopstick!'