Debt Comedians Gifts

"I've never needed health insurance - I just make sure that I always owe money to everybody."

"It's from your student loan office."

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Sorry, folks! The CEO and Board of Directors didn't show up.'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

"I know they say that laughter at work is healthy, but not when they're laughing at our profit forecasts!"

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

'This drug treats 'stock market jitters' but a side effect is 'irrational exuberance'.'

'This is the 'I Fell Behind On My Credit Card Payments, So They Took My Guitar Away Blues'. I'll be performing it a cappella.'

"Love you, love us, and I'm comfortable with our debt level."

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

'You know, you're a real piece of work, Al.'

Borrowed 200K for mime school

'He owes $30,000 for a degree in drama but right now he's not acting.'

'Oh he's my loans officer.'

'Which health plan are you on?'

'Sorry, but Watford is not a tax heaven!'

"Dancing with the liquidators."

"The Scrimpshaws have finally decided to deposit their savings."

IRS, 'How about that -- 100 unearned income.'

'The bank want to be sure that I don't vanish and forget the loan repayment...'

'Even if your dog does do 'His Business' in your basement, you still can't deduct it as office space.'

If the Fed can loosen it's money supply, why can't you?

HA HA PAID NO TAXES

"One last request: move my car to the 11:30 A.M. to 1 P.M. Monday -Thursday side of the street for tomorrow."

'Eddie, how about emerging Far East funds? The rumor is that China will come out with a velcro chopstick!'

"Do you take MasterCard?"

'Well £60 million is LESS than I'm used to...but now that we've agreed my bonus, what working capital will the Bank have?'