Credit-crunch Comedian Gifts

Let's skip the country!

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Sorry, folks! The CEO and Board of Directors didn't show up.'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

"I know they say that laughter at work is healthy, but not when they're laughing at our profit forecasts!"

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'This drug treats 'stock market jitters' but a side effect is 'irrational exuberance'.'

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'

"Love you, love us, and I'm comfortable with our debt level."

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

Secret Identity Theft.

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

'And the good news is - we're in deep doo-doo.'

Red Ink: "Busy as a bee, Ted, given the niche we've cut out for ourselves."

'He owes $30,000 for a degree in drama but right now he's not acting.'

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

Borrowed 200K for mime school

Sign - 'Warning: Government Spending Objectives Are Larger Than They Actually Appear.'

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

Bankers waking up from cryo-sleep to explain the Fed's interest rate hike to you.

'Oh he's my loans officer.'

'The bank want to be sure that I don't vanish and forget the loan repayment...'

"The Scrimpshaws have finally decided to deposit their savings."

'Sorry, but Watford is not a tax heaven!'

'He'd be handsome even without the big bonus, stock options and obscene salary!'

IRS, 'How about that -- 100 unearned income.'