Debt Humor Gifts

'This is the 'I Fell Behind On My Credit Card Payments, So They Took My Guitar Away Blues'. I'll be performing it a cappella.'

"Typical. . . Bills bills and more bills."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

"The company only made a profit of $2 billion. So that raise you requested will have to wait."

"Oh no! - we forgot to pay the exorcist... we've been repossessed!!"

Repossessions

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

"Love you, love us, and I'm comfortable with our debt level."

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

Red Ink: "Busy as a bee, Ted, given the niche we've cut out for ourselves."

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

Borrowed 200K for mime school

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"

'He owes $30,000 for a degree in drama but right now he's not acting.'

"Okay, I can offer you a loan with a 75% interest rate and serfdom for your first born. It's a great deal and I'm only offering it because you're my son."

'Oh he's my loans officer.'

"You can't lend me the £100 I asked for, only £70? Don't worry, you can own me the rest."

Squirrel Pyramid Scheme

"I'm sorry, Mr Weinstock can't see you at the moment - he's on the run."

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

Clancy: Borrowing Money

'The bank want to be sure that I don't vanish and forget the loan repayment...'

'Today, a downturn in 'social conscience' stocks on news that 'nice guys finish last'.'

"Here's the sick squid I owe you. . ."

"We have the perfect plan for you. It's the mortgaged to the eyeballs plan."

Cupid views his online credit rating.

'Could you please hurry, Teller, I need to make a deposit, and quickly.'

"Dad, the gorilla from the collecting agency is back!"

'Let's see, no current job, no job history, dicey credit report, congratulations Ed, you're approved!'

"O.K., don't e-mail this to anyone, but we're shorting black big time."