Dealing With Unexpected Situations Gifts

"I need to see the Father."

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

"You're fired."

'A raise? Huh! He won't even throw me a bone!'

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

'Sorry! I thought nobody would notice.'

''Change your underwear.' Hmm, my mother must be in town for a visit.'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

'Mom, Dad. . . remember that day you sent me to law school and I got lost?'

"My mates at the showroom said that I should start dating again."

'I'll have to reschedule your appointment -- the doctor had an attack of squeamishness.'

'Can‘t you knock before coming in? I could have been doing God knows what...'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

'Could you help me? My parents are lost.'

"Don't exhale while you're in there - he has a thing about germs."

"I . . . uh. . . had a real pleasant evening, Wendy!"

'I just don't think it appropriate to have your old divorce lawyer as your best man.'

Bank Robbery

'While we didn't see Bill Brewster here in his lifetime, it's good to see him here in death. Uh, let me rephrase that.'

'Is there any particular reason your middle name is stinky?'

Call Center Agents Should Be Able To Apologize And To Admit Mistakes.

'Just so i'll know you can't resuscitate a grape-nut, right?'

'I've prepared this powerpoint presentation about myself which takes precisely the allotted five minutes.'

'It's never an easy decision, but if you're looking for something economical, why don't you take a look at out value menu-er...Value model?'

Window cleaner taking ladder out from under his colleague.

"Wall hugging won't get you past me without a 'Good morning', Carson."

"OK, let's go over your sales pitch one more time."

In the embarrassment cemetery

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

'Do you take this woman...'-'Sorry just got a call coming through.'

'Happy Christmas! I got you a card.' - 'Oh, thanks.' - 'Sorry it's damp... I licked the envelope too hard.' - 'Oh, right.' - 'If you rub it on your face, it's like we're kissing.' - 'Oh, no... quick! Give me your hat!'

"Up, down or bite your face off?"

"Hold the elevator!"