Awkward Situation Expert Gifts

"Wall hugging won't get you past me without a 'Good morning', Carson."

Very Difficult Conversations

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

Awkward First Dates

Bad Interview Technique

"If you think the first half of this psychological test is intrusive, wait until you're grilled by me mother."

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

"How is everything, besides the obvious?"

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

"Look, I know Estella has a boyfriend. I would never try to break them up. But it's not illegal to text friends...and we're still friends..."

'Excuse me, Mr. Pavlik, but that gentleman you called an idiot is here. Should I still say you're not in?'

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

'Don't you hate people who blatantly use office parties to network?'

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News

'Now that's what I call a worthy cause.'

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

"I could see my mating dance had caught her eye, so I put more energy into it, but I ended up sweaty and out of breath: she lost interest then. . ."

''Change your underwear.' Hmm, my mother must be in town for a visit.'

"I didn't see anything! I swear!"

"My mates at the showroom said that I should start dating again."

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

"The kids got candy and all I got were disturbed looks."

'Anyone can arrange a blind date, only truly great ones can arrange a whole relationship.'

"The interview was going great until she noticed on my c.v. that I was her ex husband."