Dealing With Unexpected Situations Pillows

"I need to see the Father."

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

'I'll have to reschedule your appointment -- the doctor had an attack of squeamishness.'

''Change your underwear.' Hmm, my mother must be in town for a visit.'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

"My mates at the showroom said that I should start dating again."

'Mom, Dad. . . remember that day you sent me to law school and I got lost?'

'Sorry! I thought nobody would notice.'

'Can‘t you knock before coming in? I could have been doing God knows what...'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

'Could you help me? My parents are lost.'

'I just don't think it appropriate to have your old divorce lawyer as your best man.'

"Don't exhale while you're in there - he has a thing about germs."

"I . . . uh. . . had a real pleasant evening, Wendy!"

Call Center Agents Should Be Able To Apologize And To Admit Mistakes.

'Is there any particular reason your middle name is stinky?'

'While we didn't see Bill Brewster here in his lifetime, it's good to see him here in death. Uh, let me rephrase that.'

Bank Robbery

'Just so i'll know you can't resuscitate a grape-nut, right?'

'I've prepared this powerpoint presentation about myself which takes precisely the allotted five minutes.'

'It's never an easy decision, but if you're looking for something economical, why don't you take a look at out value menu-er...Value model?'

'Happy Christmas! I got you a card.' - 'Oh, thanks.' - 'Sorry it's damp... I licked the envelope too hard.' - 'Oh, right.' - 'If you rub it on your face, it's like we're kissing.' - 'Oh, no... quick! Give me your hat!'

"Hold the elevator!"

"Wall hugging won't get you past me without a 'Good morning', Carson."

In the embarrassment cemetery

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

'Do you take this woman...'-'Sorry just got a call coming through.'

Window cleaner taking ladder out from under his colleague.

Golfer on Football Pitch

"Up, down or bite your face off?"