Funny Situations Pillows

'Just so i'll know you can't resuscitate a grape-nut, right?'

"Up, down or bite your face off?"

What do do when some bigger kids say "It'll cost you ten dollars to walk down this block, kid!"

Golfer on Football Pitch

'Sorry! I thought nobody would notice.'

Window cleaner taking ladder out from under his colleague.

Call Center Agents Should Be Able To Apologize And To Admit Mistakes.

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

"This does not make us friends."

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

"I'm sorry, but I assumed it was a fancy dress costume..."

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

Kate's Cat Kennel

'Don't you hate people who blatantly use office parties to network?'

"I didn't see anything! I swear!"

'Your moon is on Saturn. Your sun is on Venus, and your hand is on my thigh!'

"Boy needs bigger tire."

Cake Shop: Parking Meter

'Great team. Brilliant coach. No ball handler...'

Eskimo fishing.

Ostriches

'Couldn't eat another bite!'

'I didn't hear you drive up, Doc.'

'My little sister can't come to school today - She's teaching my Dad how to operate his computer!'

"Wait a minute! I just robbed my own house!"

'What exactly is this darling, in case I have to describe to later to a doctor?'

"Daddy always begged me not to marry a cactus farmer!"

'It was identity theft by my body double!'

Warning contains Nuts

Man pelted with golf balls.

Austin gets butt dialed.