Dealership Owner Gifts

New Cars. Sale. It's got anti-lock brakes and anti-break locks!

'We stand behind every car we sell.' - 'Yes, but will you help push?'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Cut Price

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

Deliboys

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

The Cat's Alarm Clock

"This car is a retro classic. Instead of a USB outlet there's a cigarette lighter."

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

'You seem qualified. What concerns me is the car you're driving. It's not sending out the right message.'

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

Pastrami in the wild

General Motors.

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

Psychic Car Mechanics.

Man with desk organizers labelled 'Wheeling' and 'Dealing'.

'Uh-oh.'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

"I'm looking for a car with backseat performance."

"Now if it's a people-mover you're after..."

“Mileage is great, but I need to customize the leg holes.”

It's an I-O-Ewe.