Deal Warrior Gifts

"I'm off to the sales!"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

The president's men

A fight in the Boardroom.

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

U of Debt

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

Takeovers.

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."