Deal Devil Gifts

'It's clearly the work of the devil. Nevertheless, I see no reason why we can't all share some of the credit.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

That's supposed to say garage sale!

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

Sale.

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Customer Convention

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

Half-Price Haircut and Half-Cut Price Hair.

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

'You may have three mergers.'

'hold the blog - I got a bargain in the sales'

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

"I give you the seven-billion dollar pup, then you give me back the seven-billion-dollar pup."

"...And please let the merger do through!"

The Bargain Brand

Black Friday

Boomerang Sale! - No Returns

"Which will it be - do we label it '20% free', and raise the price 20%, or label lit '40% free', and raise the price 40%?"

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

'The gas bill is a lot bigger than usual.'

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Buy 2 You're Stupid.

'He's chasing the market.'

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

It was an impulse buy.

'I hope you kept the receipt.'

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

"How much is the sign?"

Money clip liquidation sale.

"And despite recent insinuations, this loan contract being signed by my client is perfectly legitimate."