Deal Diver Gifts

It was an impulse buy.

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

That's supposed to say garage sale!

Sale.

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

"Here's the deal, throw me back and I won't text your boss telling him you called in sick to fish."

"Dad, Dad, cage divers! Get the hacksaw and let's scare the heck out of them!"

Half-Price Haircut and Half-Cut Price Hair.

Customer Convention

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

'You may have three mergers.'

'hold the blog - I got a bargain in the sales'

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

"I give you the seven-billion dollar pup, then you give me back the seven-billion-dollar pup."

The Bargain Brand

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

"Which will it be - do we label it '20% free', and raise the price 20%, or label lit '40% free', and raise the price 40%?"

Diner. We're out of link sausages. Are patties okay? Any pork in a storm!

Boomerang Sale! - No Returns

Black Friday

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

'The gas bill is a lot bigger than usual.'

'I keep having this recurring nightmare, that when I get back from walking in the woods my porridge is too cold.'

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Buy 2 You're Stupid.

'I hope you kept the receipt.'

"How much is the sign?"

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.