Deal Digger Gifts

'That's 59p for the flight will you be needing the £345 'access to the toilet' option?'

How women see it, how men see it.

"It's a new service from Amazon. They send you something every day and if you don't like it, you just send it back."

Wedding Special: Buy one get your next one free

PoundStore

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"How soon will this be a remnant

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

That's supposed to say garage sale!

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"I just..."

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

Sale.

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

Online Shopping.

"All it takes is a little marketing, Tia Carmen!"

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.