Dc Socialite Gifts

'His idea of bipartisan is going to two parties a night.'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Church Basement Foodie

Children's Party

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

A day at the races

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

Social Notworking

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Today's Buzz word...

Dog Teenagers

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

"Imogene is just back from an extended trip through the Navajo country."

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

Man and woman meet in bar, in strained poses. He says: 'Now we've met, can we drop the Myspace poses?'

"Your party just totally blew us away."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'