Strategic Socialite Gifts

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Even my chauffeur has a chauffeur."

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

Follow God On Twitter

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

A day at the races

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"Brian's considering the optics."

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

Social Notworking

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Today's Buzz word...

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"I never expected to collide into you!"

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"Imogene is just back from an extended trip through the Navajo country."

Man and woman meet in bar, in strained poses. He says: 'Now we've met, can we drop the Myspace poses?'

"Your party just totally blew us away."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'