Daydreaming Plumber Gifts

When artists have day jobs.

Pipe Dream.

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

Organ Player

Fiction for Plumbers

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

A revised statuary for the city of tomorrow

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

We're looking for someone who has their own desk, computer, fax, smart phone, copier, and customer list.

'My phone's been tapped!'

'Your dinner met with the plumber's approval.'

"Excuse me Mr. Plumber, my son just called, please be careful not to disturb his genetically altered aquatic scorpion colony."

Analysts have said the US and Russia are closer to nuclear war than ever. The outcome of the election tomorrow will probably determine whether we live in mediocrity … or whether we suffer a nuclear apocalypse in which a crafty café owner, who's squirreled away scones and ammunition in a vast network of underground bunkers, could rise to become feudal warlord of a brand new world. So ... who are you voting for again? The person I've been preparing ever since 2nd grade to vote for.

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

Dog in front of fire, wearing slippers, reading paper, smoking pipe, with tea and bones. Owner says: 'Stay!'

Septic Fields Forever.

Lighting a Pipe

I told you I lost it in the sun.

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

'I've been having a lot of out of potty experiences, lately.'

"Should I fix it or call it a water feature?"

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."