Daydreaming Plumber Gifts

When artists have day jobs.

Pipe Dream.

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

Organ Player

Fiction for Plumbers

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

A revised statuary for the city of tomorrow

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

'My phone's been tapped!'

We're looking for someone who has their own desk, computer, fax, smart phone, copier, and customer list.

"Excuse me Mr. Plumber, my son just called, please be careful not to disturb his genetically altered aquatic scorpion colony."

Lighting a Pipe

Dog in front of fire, wearing slippers, reading paper, smoking pipe, with tea and bones. Owner says: 'Stay!'

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

'Your dinner met with the plumber's approval.'

Septic Fields Forever.

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

"Should I fix it or call it a water feature?"

The Source of the Thames...

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."