David Attenborough Fanboy Gifts

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

British Prime Minister

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

"Meow"

"I'm not worried about you, Henley. You'll land on your feet."

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

'Who handles your media, Rex?'

Snake with 'toxic' sign around it's neck.

"Looks like some kind of laser beam. No sign of the murder weapon."

Hollywood cafe: celebrity in the house!

Our Summer Without Dave

Resume Consultant. I can polish up your resume, but I won't be able to pound all the dents. (Published originally on Janurary 8, 2009.)

Police T.V. Appeal, "It's the new softy softy approach!"

"Yes, but what I really want to do is write children's books."

Ryan Giggs

"The Holographic Heckler makes its first appearance."

Fisherman catches a mine.

"Slop again?!"

"And you can quote me on that."

"Please confine your testimony to "Yes" or "No" answers and skip the "Nevermore" stuff, OK?"

'I do great voice-overs.'

Bug bomb squad.

Major Tom

"As a harbinger of doom, you're a little late."

"I see you met the author."

I'm stepping out to look for a better job.

It's a letter from Romulus and Remus thanking me for feeding them...Now, isn't that sweet...

Dearly beloved...

"Psst ... it's your bookie."

'The three little pigs attended a professional development seminar on dealing with bullies and they were never bothered by the big bad wolf again.'

"I started off as a sniffer but learning to speak opened up a whole new world for me."

'What the heck is a USB Port?!' Suddenly it was Jeff Foxworthy who wasn't smarter than a fifth grader.

The Lavender Dot - Part Six