Dating Wizard Pillows

"Are you seeing anyone?"

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

'He will observe your text now...'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'I found this sales plan from 1977 ...'

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

'Yes, I'm very punctual. I always use commas and periods.'

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

Best Special Effects Award

Progression of human writing, from chisled stone to computers until 2000 when the computer has blown up

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'