Relationship Wizard Pillows

'How can she tell that in only three minutes?'

You Are A Psycho

'Oh, that's my webcam. Probably should have mentioned that at the beginning.'

In the Guru District

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'Great Therapy!'

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"