Relationship Magician Pillows

Personal Relationship Counsellor

We really need to put the mystery back into this relationship... why don't you disappear?

"My wife's a magician . . . she can turn anything into an argument."

In the Guru District

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Domestic Goddess.

Team Leader

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

'Great Therapy!'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.