Dating Wizard T-Shirts

"Are you seeing anyone?"

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

'He will observe your text now...'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'I found this sales plan from 1977 ...'

'Yes, I'm very punctual. I always use commas and periods.'

Progression of human writing, from chisled stone to computers until 2000 when the computer has blown up

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

Best Special Effects Award

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'