Relationship Wizards T-Shirts

Marriage counselor reading the newspaper: 'Try to listen to each other more. It won't be easy. You're not very interesting.'

'What we need, Edward, are some new things to argue about.'

In the Guru District

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

Try Mediation

Window Treatment

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

'Great Therapy!'

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

"My computer just texted me."