Dating Advisor Pillows

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Courtship display

'No, the waiting room here probably isn't a good place to meet women...'

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

"Wait....What's this in your bio that says 'in seven relationships'?"

Try Mediation

Window Treatment

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Boyfriend of the Month.

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"My computer just texted me."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

Hollywood Breakup

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

"Well if it doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong, why don't I be right and you be wrong?"

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

Complaints departement for men and women.

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

"Women like funny men, but you can't go on a date dressed like that!"

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."