Love Advisor Pillows

'John, this is where you should declare your underlying love and tell Miriam she's the wind beneath your wings...'

'I need a commitment. I don't want to just hang out with you.'

'It feels great now, but you will see when it's pulled out.'

"Couples therapy is not 'going out.' Henry!"

"So, Beatriz...how are things with you and your boyfriend?"

"Do you think I should ask Bea out?"

"Jing, how do you know if a girl likes you?"

"I was being myself like you advised. That's when she dumped me!"

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Why can't we ever have a sensible conversation, Norman?"

'She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.'

'Girls! I won't understand them if I live to be six.'

"Companionable! Tonto was companionable!"

'He gets very defensive.'

'Where were you three marriages ago?'

'My wife?... Oh yeah, that's the bitch!'

"What the hell do men want?"

"How can you be sure you really love somebody?"

"Welcome to Ask Sadie. You're on, Vancouver. What's your problem?" "I met this really cool guy who makes my toes go numb..." "...but I'd already been talking to another guy. The thing is, I want them both. Is that selfish?" "Excellent question." "This reminds me of the time I went to the Sizzler salad bar. I wanted both the ranch dressing and the vinaigrette. So what I did was, I poured both of them all over my lettuce at the same time." "Metaphor." "No, just two." "...Wait...what?"

"I know you're angry when you cross your arms."

"How many times do I have to tell you that two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Try Mediation

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

Window Treatment

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Love linked

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

If you want to see love be love.

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"My computer just texted me."

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.