Dating Theme Collector Pillows

"First date hairball... awkward."

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

Asking out a palm reader.

'I'm not afraid of commitment, but forever is a really long time.'

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

"Why don't you move over here, Mr. Lowery, where you'll be closer to everything."

"If they give you any trouble, find a good babysitter and go out for the evening."

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."

"So much for watching a Jane Austen movie with my date. He kept waiting for the car chase!"

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

"I don't know - I feel like we always split the cheese plate."

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

Tunnel of Love Just Friends.

'But enough about me... let's talk about you. Do you prefer plain or ribbed condoms?'

'He seems nice.'

"I would gladly explain it to you, Allison. But, for your information, it's inexplicable."

Your numerous prescriptions really have improved my love life. I'm dating my pharmacist.

'What are you in for?'

'Cute girl from philosophy. . . BBQ at Dave's. I wonder if she's going?. . . Flat meeting to talk about me not doing my share.'

"No! I want to stay up here with you!"

Good old-fashioned sex shop.

"My dear, I'm an artist! I reveal my innermost being to people and give them the highest emotions!"

'I wish you were available online.'

"Will you call me?"

'I don't know anything about art but I know what wines I like.'

"We found we really missed going to the theatre and eating in nice restaurants, so we gave our kids away."

'I was thinking dinner, drinks, an airport security 'pat down' and then call it a night.'

'I hope you don't think I invited you swimming just because you have a couple of webbed toes.'

Love

"It's true, of course, that I'm just a machine, but I do have a built-in vibrator."

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

Colin's sixth sense tells him that his date isn't going so well.

'How do you expect me to keep track of the date when they change it every day?'

"My date? Gorgeous, smart, Arabian: What a catch!"