Dating Rulebook Collector Pillows

'Sorry, but I never kiss on a last date.'

"First date hairball... awkward."

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"I had half a date last weekend."

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

"Hmm....who's this tall drink of water?"

"O.K., so we'll have sex and if that works out we'll go for a nice dinner and maybe a movie."

How did that enchantment go again? Must I spell out everything for you?!

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

'Oh for Pete's sake. This ain't nuclear science, gentlemen. I'll read it one more time, but pay attention... 'the infield fly rule is in effect if there is less than two outs and runners on first and second'...'

"He was the answer to my prayers. The answer was 'No'."

"It may not be a balk, but it's something."

"It's true, of course, that I'm just a machine, but I do have a built-in vibrator."

Penalty! Fifteen yards for a block in the back.

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

'Have you hammered out the new rule book yet?'

"He's got whistleblower written all over him."

'... 'Pickoff'?... No... 'Ground out'? ... No...'

"Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure." "Sorry." "As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone." "Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw?" "Or did the fault lie entirely with my date?" "Feel free to speak candidly." "Mother."

'I should probably warn you that you've wandered into a place where you're very likely to get hit on by some jerk. I don't mean this bar, I mean this comic strip.'

I'm sorry, but I don

"Is this a good time to lay down some rules?"

Personal ad: 'Cosa seeking Nostra.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Joins A Commune

'Great, you can start Monday.. remember, NO BLUE JEANS.'

"I don't take off the mask until the third date."

'Remember, no hitting below the belt.'

'I'm sorry, but I make it a rule not to date anyone I work with.'

"The rules clearly state, 'it takes two to tango'."

"Happy 12th anniversary ... 13th anniversary? ... 10th? ... 14th?"

'Hello, I don't believe I have to give my name, and I'm a pedant.'

"He's playing very hard to get - he's got a restraining order."

'I tried shooing. What's our policy on swatting?'

Gene Gets Kicked Out of Fight Club.