Dating Rulebook Collector Pillows

'Sorry, but I never kiss on a last date.'

"First date hairball... awkward."

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"I had half a date last weekend."

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

"O.K., so we'll have sex and if that works out we'll go for a nice dinner and maybe a movie."

"It may not be a balk, but it's something."

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

'Oh for Pete's sake. This ain't nuclear science, gentlemen. I'll read it one more time, but pay attention... 'the infield fly rule is in effect if there is less than two outs and runners on first and second'...'

"He was the answer to my prayers. The answer was 'No'."

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

"It's true, of course, that I'm just a machine, but I do have a built-in vibrator."

'Have you hammered out the new rule book yet?'

"He's got whistleblower written all over him."

Personal ad: 'Cosa seeking Nostra.'

'Great, you can start Monday.. remember, NO BLUE JEANS.'

"Is this a good time to lay down some rules?"

"Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure." "Sorry." "As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone." "Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw?" "Or did the fault lie entirely with my date?" "Feel free to speak candidly." "Mother."

'... 'Pickoff'?... No... 'Ground out'? ... No...'

'I should probably warn you that you've wandered into a place where you're very likely to get hit on by some jerk. I don't mean this bar, I mean this comic strip.'

"I don't take off the mask until the third date."

'I'm sorry, but I make it a rule not to date anyone I work with.'

'Remember, no hitting below the belt.'

'I tried shooing. What's our policy on swatting?'

"Happy 12th anniversary ... 13th anniversary? ... 10th? ... 14th?"

"The rules clearly state, 'it takes two to tango'."

"He's playing very hard to get - he's got a restraining order."

'Hello, I don't believe I have to give my name, and I'm a pedant.'

'While my friends all smuggle up with their husbands and children, I receive thanks for another doomed relationship.'

Loneliness.