Dating Life Comic Gifts

'So...your Bowel or mine?' / A male tapeworm using a pick-up line on a female tapeworm

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

"It's my autobiography. I call it, 'I Married Her For Her Money, And Other Gross Miscalculations'."

"You need a mint."

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

"If you two lovebirds could wrap it up I'd like to pee there please and thank you."

“It’s 2025 Roger, I didn’t think I’d still be seeing the lockdown beard..”

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

'You're becoming so distant, Els!'

'Oh, pretty good. At least I'm not hearing voices telling me what to do anymore. . . got fired and divorced.'

Courtship display

"For your information, this 'stuff' happens to be my husband!"

"We did it—nice work today." "Thanks. I look forward to hearing from you soon."

'My wife thinks it was a cheap, sordid affair, but she's wrong. The motel cost me fifty dollars and I spent another twenty on the vibrating bed!'

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

An old couple are leaving a supermarket the man has a t-shirt saying 'I've got Viagra' the woman has one saying 'I've got a headache.

"Now what did I do?"

'Your wife phones to say you left the toilet seat up in the bathroom again sir!'

"It's true, of course, that I'm just a machine, but I do have a built-in vibrator."

"Burrow here often?"

"Yes, I would love to come out for a drink with the lads, but I don't think my wife is too keen."

"I know you're upset and you're giving me the silent treatment. Thank you."

Mussels

'I hope you don't think I invited you swimming just because you have a couple of webbed toes.'

'I'd offer you a ride home, but my car's only a one-seater.'

Singles Baa - "So, what's a girl like ewe doing in a place like this?"

'You should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

"What took you so long?"

'Let me guess - your barmaid doesn't understand you either!'

"You knew I was grounds for divorce when you married me."

It's to celebrate 24 wonderful hours without an argument.

'My wife ran off with a Greek fisherman, but I got his cap!'

'It was a little muffled, but it sounded like, ‘Back off, moron, she's taken.'

'You feel boxed in?'