Dating Life Comic Gifts

'So...your Bowel or mine?' / A male tapeworm using a pick-up line on a female tapeworm

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

"You need a mint."

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

"If you two lovebirds could wrap it up I'd like to pee there please and thank you."

“It’s 2025 Roger, I didn’t think I’d still be seeing the lockdown beard..”

'You're becoming so distant, Els!'

'Oh, pretty good. At least I'm not hearing voices telling me what to do anymore. . . got fired and divorced.'

'My wife thinks it was a cheap, sordid affair, but she's wrong. The motel cost me fifty dollars and I spent another twenty on the vibrating bed!'

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

"We did it—nice work today." "Thanks. I look forward to hearing from you soon."

"For your information, this 'stuff' happens to be my husband!"

Courtship display

"Now what did I do?"

'Your wife phones to say you left the toilet seat up in the bathroom again sir!'

"Burrow here often?"

"Yes, I would love to come out for a drink with the lads, but I don't think my wife is too keen."

"It's true, of course, that I'm just a machine, but I do have a built-in vibrator."

'I hope you don't think I invited you swimming just because you have a couple of webbed toes.'

Mussels

'I'd offer you a ride home, but my car's only a one-seater.'

It's to celebrate 24 wonderful hours without an argument.

'My wife ran off with a Greek fisherman, but I got his cap!'

"You knew I was grounds for divorce when you married me."

"What took you so long?"

'You should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

'Let me guess - your barmaid doesn't understand you either!'

"Just leave the hat on and maybe my parents won't notice."

'It was a little muffled, but it sounded like, ‘Back off, moron, she's taken.'

'You feel boxed in?'