Dating Houdini Pillows

Houdini attempts to escape a relationship.

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

Online Dating

"My computer just texted me."

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

I tried working with Houdini, but he wanted me to escape from a straight-jacket before jumping out of the hat...

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

"Arthur, I need my space."

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Young Houdini

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

RETURN BOOKS HERE, 'I'm sorry, sir -- all our books on Houdini have disappeared.'

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

Houdini's infancy.

'Why don't we slip into something a little more comfortable...like the leisure section.'

'I think I met Frank at the circus.'

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"Couples therapy is not 'going out', Henry!"

Woman replaces her husband with her smartphone.

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

Tough Love 2000

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

"A quiet, romantic table for two – not that it’ll do any good."

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

'You must be Olivia.'

"So tell me again where you're from."

'It was okay until I lost my cell phone signal.'

'Are you ready to be the winners?'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

At Saltwater Sweeties Dating Service

"Isn't it our marriage counselor sitting there?"

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."