Dating Houdini Pillows

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

Online Dating

"My computer just texted me."

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

I tried working with Houdini, but he wanted me to escape from a straight-jacket before jumping out of the hat...

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

"Arthur, I need my space."

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

Houdini's infancy.

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

RETURN BOOKS HERE, 'I'm sorry, sir -- all our books on Houdini have disappeared.'

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

Woman replaces her husband with her smartphone.

"Couples therapy is not 'going out', Henry!"

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

Tough Love 2000

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

'Why don't we slip into something a little more comfortable...like the leisure section.'

'I think I met Frank at the circus.'

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

'You must be Olivia.'

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

"So tell me again where you're from."

"A quiet, romantic table for two – not that it’ll do any good."

'It was okay until I lost my cell phone signal.'

"Isn't it our marriage counselor sitting there?"

'Are you ready to be the winners?'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

At Saltwater Sweeties Dating Service

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."