Dating Deconstructors Pillows

"Mine's a large one!" "How I wish!"

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

'Let's do lunch.'

Romantic Coffee Dates

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

I'm looking at photos of potential dates here. Your "screening" process.

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."

Cupid gives up trying to get cell phone-using couple together.

'Your credit card or mine?'

"It's over between us Brian. . . as soon as I've announced it on twitter."

"I'm so shallow."

'No, I don't remember asking you to move in with me. Not only that, I don't remember who you are!'

"It's another letter from Mr. Wentworth. He writes, 'You up?' and then there are some pictures of a smiley face and an eggplant."

'Would it be too forward of me to give you a tweet?'

Carol sensed some negative vibes from her date when he pulled out a laptop and began perusing other women's profiles.

"I think she's fully committed to me - She got an 'I'm with stupid' TATTOO!"

"We need to text about our relationship."

"I've lost touch with my roots, so I'm flying to Omaha but I'll be back Monday."

Young Accountants in Love: 'I didn't reach the same conclusion, Phil. In fact, my preliminary figures indicate we just can't go on meeting like this!'

"This one's different, mummy, he wants me for my brain."

"If I can't be honest with you, Cheryl, who can I pretend to be honest with?"

"Rick, here, is totally passive, and you always have to be in control, so I thought you might like each other."

'Well. I gotta admit, she did say in her profile that she's an old-fashioned girl!'

'Anyway, enough about you. Let's talk about me.'

'You'll have to excuse my date. He's still in beta.'

"Like, weirdest date ever, last night, he kept trying to make eye contact!"

"Love means sacrificing your swiping hand."

Romantic LED-lit Dinner