Dating Deconstructors Gifts

"Mine's a large one!" "How I wish!"

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

'Let's do lunch.'

Romantic Coffee Dates

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

"I'm so shallow."

'Your credit card or mine?'

'No, I don't remember asking you to move in with me. Not only that, I don't remember who you are!'

"It's another letter from Mr. Wentworth. He writes, 'You up?' and then there are some pictures of a smiley face and an eggplant."

'Would it be too forward of me to give you a tweet?'

"We need to text about our relationship."

"I think she's fully committed to me - She got an 'I'm with stupid' TATTOO!"

"Rick, here, is totally passive, and you always have to be in control, so I thought you might like each other."

"This one's different, mummy, he wants me for my brain."

"I've lost touch with my roots, so I'm flying to Omaha but I'll be back Monday."

Young Accountants in Love: 'I didn't reach the same conclusion, Phil. In fact, my preliminary figures indicate we just can't go on meeting like this!'

"If I can't be honest with you, Cheryl, who can I pretend to be honest with?"

'You'll have to excuse my date. He's still in beta.'

"Like, weirdest date ever, last night, he kept trying to make eye contact!"

'Anyway, enough about you. Let's talk about me.'

"Love means sacrificing your swiping hand."

"Sorry, but I never give more than a peck on the cheek on a first date."