Dating App Warrior Pillows

Netflix and chill?

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

"I guess I misunderstood when I read you were into 'Bodybuilding'."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"Don't blame me! Your profile said nothing about a seafood allergy."

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"Hold on one second I'm just scrolling through your Instagram to get to know you."

Mixed Marriage: Downhill Racer.

Got suspicious after he asked to see a recent picture and she sent over an oil painting.

"He's joined a whatsapp group for fans of Matt Hancock's Whatsapp messages."

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

"Yeah, well it hurts when you stab me with your words."

"Zoom says we have connectivity issues..."

'Okay, I'll stand on the mantle, but she's never going to believe you bagged a duck.'

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

"We were about to get a divorce, but we decided instead to go with the U.N. Peacekeepers."

"Is there room for me?"

"Well, I think there's more to life than having a terrific backhand."

James and Sarah had no chance of sex with antibiotic resistant gonorrhea keeping them apart

'Frankly, I'm looking for someone who's tall, dark and solvent.'

You're 22 hours early, Lance. I thought I was two hours late. Which do you prefer?

"I'll be honest with you, Jeannette, I'm looking for a no-load relationship."

Speed Dating

"Hang in there. If you win this bout, you get to fight his mother."

"This is definately the last time I arrange a date over the internet..."

'That's a coincidence -- your wife was in yesterday, saying you're out to get HER.'

"Would you consider yourself creamy or crunchy?"

"I'm looking for a dreamboat, not a shipwreck."

Plato seeking platonic love on Tinder