Data Vigilante Pillows

Nothing to Worry About

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"You're stealing from the rich and selling it to the poor on Craigslist?"

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

The new global mantra flag for the future

About 40% of the nation's coronavirus deaths could have been prevented...

Johnson allows the Delta variant to run wild in Britain

You can relax now.

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

"You mean to tell me I can only vote against one Congressman?"

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

Guns won't help

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

"Stocks closed higher on news that despite market volatility, Edgar Freund, just an average investor from Petoskey, Michigan, decided not to sell anything."

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I wish I had emotions like people do. I wish I could think as logically as people do. I'd like to take a walk along the shoreline without rusting. Storing energy in a battery rather than a pot belly would be nice. Having a sense of humor would be fun. The ability to selectively delete memories would be great to have. I wish I didn't have to worry about digital viruses. I wish I didn't have to worry about biological viruses.

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

"My goodness, Gurkenham! This is the worst case of identity theft I've ever seen!"

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

'Hacking into our system is one way to get my attention.'

Ebola Clinic

'Maybe we can rob Peter AND Paul.'

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'