Dashing Decorator Gifts

"That 'Spirit of Christmas yet to come' comes around earlier every year..."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Filet minion

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

Shelter Cat Nap

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"Can that be right?"

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

Yard Sale

The Hammer

Pinata Trophies

'The roof needs icing.'

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

Mice Cream

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

Lad to man behind desk: 'I notice your fish is 10 times larger than your picture of me!!'