Dashing Decorator Pillows

"That 'Spirit of Christmas yet to come' comes around earlier every year..."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

Filet minion

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

Shelter Cat Nap

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"Can that be right?"

Pinata Trophies

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

The Hammer

Yard Sale

'The roof needs icing.'

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

Mice Cream

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

Hunter in stand in a Christmas tree tied to a car.

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

A centipede's Christmas stockings

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

Lad to man behind desk: 'I notice your fish is 10 times larger than your picture of me!!'