Decorator With A Twist Gifts

'When we converted the pub into a house, we decided to keep some of the original features.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Filet minion

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

The Hammer

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

Pinata Trophies

Yard Sale

"Can that be right?"

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

"I'll bet there's a story there."

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

'I wasn't to know it's a live shell officer, we've been using it as a door-stop for years!'

'It's a coffee-book table.'

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

Lad to man behind desk: 'I notice your fish is 10 times larger than your picture of me!!'