Decorator With A Twist Mugs

'When we converted the pub into a house, we decided to keep some of the original features.'

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

Filet minion

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Pinata Trophies

Yard Sale

"Can that be right?"

The Hammer

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

Hunter in stand in a Christmas tree tied to a car.

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

'It's a coffee-book table.'

"I'll bet there's a story there."

Lad to man behind desk: 'I notice your fish is 10 times larger than your picture of me!!'

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

Jackson Pollock the Spider