Darwinist Gifts

The Evolution of Mankind.

'Now that we can talk, let me give you some advice....'

'And of course, it saves money on shoes.'

'It's just a fad son: Walking upright will never catch on...'

"I had that fish for so long it evolved, climbed out of the bowl and walked away."

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

Fish evolving: 'Write, if you establish a niche.'

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"You get back here this minute, young man! You're not going anywhere until you clean your room!"

'Sorry - The position has already been filled."

Evolving/Devolving

Fish crawls from the primordial soup.

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

survival of the fittest

'That's far enough for the first trip -- gather some soil samples and initiate re-entry procedures.'

21st century fish, evolving or mutant?

'Hey, Fred! You have a relative visiting.'

'It's the perfect time to move up the evolutionary ladder! The climate is stable, we have no natural predators, and interest rates may never be this low again!'

"Thank you, everyone: now I'd like to introduce all the folks who made this possible for me!"

I'd Turn Back If I Were You.

'Stop evolving and come in. Your dinner's ready.'

'Take it from me, and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Darwin Updated: Divergent Species and Convergent Species.

Evolution

"I predict that men's fashions will remain relatively stable throughout the next century and a half, whereas women's will evolve continuously, and with the speed and illogic of a juiced-up tribe of rampaging Darwinian monkeys."

Tree of Knowledge/Tree of Evolution

'Come back, you fool! -- The Earth is three-fourths ocean!'

"Colin had a convincing argument against the validity of natural selection."

Evolution

'This isn't either a fad! -- It's a major breakthrough!'

Darwin said it is Survival of the Fittest.

"No, first you have to evolve into a man, then you can have a man-cave."