Darkness Philosopher Gifts

Daylight Tombstone

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

"I noticed a few browns."

Business man sees himself as a shark

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

Warning. Objects in mirror my bear no relation to reality.

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"They're very time-sensitive."

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Just tell me. You don't need to drag that out every time I ask how I look.'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

Apocalliptical

"Bear with us, will you? -- We're having technical difficulties over here."

"I work from home because I can’t stand the sight of idiots." "Is that why you got rid of all our mirrors?"

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

"I don't think so."

Dolly, Twenty Years Later

Caterpillar Paranoia

Man using straight razor sees electric razor in mirror.

"What if you go under before I need to?"

'I AM going to join a gym, but I've got to get in shape first. . .'

'You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?'

'I'm at the age when everything Mother Nature gave Father Time is taking away...'

'I know how you feel.'

Well there's something you don't see every day...