Dark Road Adventurer Gifts

On the dark road

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

The Lost World: You are Here

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"Needs to get a life"

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'So much for your new Satnav!'

A surprise in heaven

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'Are we broke yet?'

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Street signs you don't want to see.

Sister Cities

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

'This is way better than a litter box.'

Halo Frisbee.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

YONDER...next 347 miles.

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

Child in a bear suit.

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."