Dark Ages Delighter Gifts

'Don't throw the little silicon chips away -- we may find a use for them someday.'

Theorbo

Joust Sharpener

"It's so relaxing watching the clouds change shape as they drift by. You could almost forget you're a dog. Is it my imagination… or does that cloud look a bit like a cat? Arf! Arf! Arf!"

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

Early attempts at standardising currency.

Vitruvian Manatee

'You won't need a desk since you'll be delegating everything.'

"Meditation is too hard. How do you keep one thought in your mind for this long?"

Galileo drops ball from Pisa and it goes up.

How Witches Do Diabetic Testing.

"Woulda looked cool with a beer in his hand, though." Michelangelo's cousin, Michelobelo

Britain in 410AD

'One second - wo seconds - three seconds - four seconds -one hour...'

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

Service Entry.

Early Goths.

"I'll have Envy for starter, Greed for Main and Lust to follow."

'These are natural and organic ... two slabs of hog's bacon deep fried in crispy batter and dipped in chocolate.'

Early Photobomb

Rudy, stop thinking about it. About what? About how if the Dark Ages had never happened, we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now. Instead of poking acks on your me-phone, you'd have a chip implanted up your whatsits that'd let you do anything you could imagine. My phone says without the Dark Ages, we'd have had no Renaissance - so you science-haters are responsible for my me-phone. Stalemate.

"Happy National Pride Month."

Gone out.Your custard pie's in the oven.

Crumhorn

Leonardo Da Vinci.

'You call - we'll toss for Rape or Pillage!'

Michelangelo's first attempt at David resulted in a do over.

'Some gagwriter you turned out to be!'

'He's whooping it up again.'

Christmas Theorbo

Happy Anniversary

So glad you decided to come out!

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"We'll have to get rid of all our furniture. They just discovered perspective."

'Can't you get it through your thick Dutch head? We don't want to see your ruddy etchings!'