Dance Disruptor Pillows

'They tried to GAG her but they can NEVER stop her 'dance of neglect on the ward'!'

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"Move, Gary."

A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

The Big Idea vs The Small Change

'before you say 'all this will be yours', I don't want it.'

GAP. GAP. NO GAP.

'She wishes.'

What If?

"Pawn to King Four."

"You must be the new guy!"

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz - 'How did my life get this dull?'

"I consider myself to be a counterproductive member of society."

"Look! It came pre-defaced by the artist."

Spoonfest

A man exits his house to a clapboard.

'I didn't know I was going to sneeze.'

"If anyone wants me, I'll be out photobombing the tourists."

"Hi, I'm on the train."

"How about one-ish? I love the way it sounds."

"Do you think one of you geniuses could come up with a comfortable bar stool?"

A dictator makes a speech, about to be doused with water.

Master dog trainer.

Occupy crunch

Ballet Maid

'Miss Jones, those pants have got to go. I can't have my secretary looking like a boy.'

"That's the first time he's ever done anything spontaneous!"

Isn't It Exciting?

TV Kill

Radio phone-in: 'Hello, how are you' time wasters.

'Would you mind jumping in further down please?'

'We'd like to share a haircut.'