Routine Disruptor Pillows

"Pawn to King Four."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz - 'How did my life get this dull?'

"That's the first time he's ever done anything spontaneous!"

"At this office no two days are different."

Business leader to group: 'Who's making the donkey sounds?'

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

"And to think all these years you've worried about some boy wonder taking over your job."

A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

Broken since March

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

'I need a vacation, Ms. Sims. I'm tired of the same old things day after day.'

'I don't want to ride you, Hawthorne, but I'd say you've got a serious attitude problem.'

'She wishes.'

"I bet you're wondering what my other hands doing under this table right now."

'Please tell me there's more to this than this.'

"Who will admit to folding the printout into a paper airplane?"

"You must be the new guy!"

"Wait, it's Thursday? I thought it was Tuesday! The first day of the rest of my life was supposed to be Wednesday!!"

"If this guy doesn't wrap it up real soon, I'll reflect sunlight off my watch and set off the sprinklers."

"I consider myself to be a counterproductive member of society."

The board meeting was quite dignified until somebody started a pie chart fight.

'Off to the usual boring routine, eh, Barratt?'

"Look! It came pre-defaced by the artist."

Spoonfest

'Would you kindly not trumpet and simply say 'aye'?'

'They tried to GAG her but they can NEVER stop her 'dance of neglect on the ward'!'

A man exits his house to a clapboard.

'I didn't know I was going to sneeze.'

"How about one-ish? I love the way it sounds."

Signpost 'Heaven' and 'Communting'

"Hi, I'm on the train."

COVID Clock

"Let's give the left a try today."

He decided to take a later train