Routine Disruptor Gifts

"Pawn to King Four."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz - 'How did my life get this dull?'

"That's the first time he's ever done anything spontaneous!"

"At this office no two days are different."

Business leader to group: 'Who's making the donkey sounds?'

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

"And to think all these years you've worried about some boy wonder taking over your job."

A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

Broken since March

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

'I need a vacation, Ms. Sims. I'm tired of the same old things day after day.'

'Please tell me there's more to this than this.'

What If?

"I bet you're wondering what my other hands doing under this table right now."

'She wishes.'

'I don't want to ride you, Hawthorne, but I'd say you've got a serious attitude problem.'

"So, any other ideas as to how we can be more disruptive?"

"You must be the new guy!"

"Who will admit to folding the printout into a paper airplane?"

"Wait, it's Thursday? I thought it was Tuesday! The first day of the rest of my life was supposed to be Wednesday!!"

'Off to the usual boring routine, eh, Barratt?'

'Would you kindly not trumpet and simply say 'aye'?'

"Look! It came pre-defaced by the artist."

Spoonfest

The board meeting was quite dignified until somebody started a pie chart fight.

'They tried to GAG her but they can NEVER stop her 'dance of neglect on the ward'!'

"If this guy doesn't wrap it up real soon, I'll reflect sunlight off my watch and set off the sprinklers."

"I consider myself to be a counterproductive member of society."

A man exits his house to a clapboard.

'I didn't know I was going to sneeze.'

Signpost 'Heaven' and 'Communting'

COVID Clock

"How about one-ish? I love the way it sounds."

"Hi, I'm on the train."