Schedule Disruptors Gifts

"Wait, it's Thursday? I thought it was Tuesday! The first day of the rest of my life was supposed to be Wednesday!!"

Business leader to group: 'Who's making the donkey sounds?'

"And to think all these years you've worried about some boy wonder taking over your job."

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

'Oh yeah? Well, to hell with tradition. We're building a snow woman!'

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

The Big Idea vs The Small Change

'Hold my calls. I'm going out for a random walk.'

Broken since March

"Gotta go. My ten o'clock is here."

"Tuesday's out - back-to-back nanny interviews. Wednesday's potty training. I can playdate Thursday. How's 3:15?"

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

What If?

'I don't want to ride you, Hawthorne, but I'd say you've got a serious attitude problem.'

"So, any other ideas as to how we can be more disruptive?"

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz - 'How did my life get this dull?'

"Who will admit to folding the printout into a paper airplane?"

"Pawn to King Four."

'They tried to GAG her but they can NEVER stop her 'dance of neglect on the ward'!'

"I consider myself to be a counterproductive member of society."

"If this guy doesn't wrap it up real soon, I'll reflect sunlight off my watch and set off the sprinklers."

"Look! It came pre-defaced by the artist."

'Would you kindly not trumpet and simply say 'aye'?'

The board meeting was quite dignified until somebody started a pie chart fight.

Spoonfest

A Over Crowded Office.

A man exits his house to a clapboard.

"How about one-ish? I love the way it sounds."

'The people can rest assured this committee is comprised of seasoned legislators...for the most part.'

Occupy crunch

Master dog trainer.

'When you're finished laughing, perhaps you'll let me finish the joke.'

'Ssshh! You're disturbing the class.'

"That's the first time he's ever done anything spontaneous!"

'Miss Jones, those pants have got to go. I can't have my secretary looking like a boy.'