Schedule Disruptor Gifts

"How about one-ish? I love the way it sounds."

Business leader to group: 'Who's making the donkey sounds?'

"And to think all these years you've worried about some boy wonder taking over your job."

'Oh yeah? Well, to hell with tradition. We're building a snow woman!'

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

'before you say 'all this will be yours', I don't want it.'

Broken since March

'Hold my calls. I'm going out for a random walk.'

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"...but before we begin our slide presentation on accounts receivable...this is how I make a bunny!"

'How did our ‘Get Away From It All' vacation turn into a ‘Take Most Of It With You' long weekend?'

'She wishes.'

'I don't want to ride you, Hawthorne, but I'd say you've got a serious attitude problem.'

"How do you spell time management?"

"Pawn to King Four."

"Who will admit to folding the printout into a paper airplane?"

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

"Wait, it's Thursday? I thought it was Tuesday! The first day of the rest of my life was supposed to be Wednesday!!"

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz - 'How did my life get this dull?'

The 'Time Management' consultant rang to say she double booked and she's going to be late!"

'They tried to GAG her but they can NEVER stop her 'dance of neglect on the ward'!'

Spoonfest

"Look! It came pre-defaced by the artist."

'Would you kindly not trumpet and simply say 'aye'?'

The board meeting was quite dignified until somebody started a pie chart fight.

"I consider myself to be a counterproductive member of society."

"If this guy doesn't wrap it up real soon, I'll reflect sunlight off my watch and set off the sprinklers."

Flexitime.

A man exits his house to a clapboard.

'I didn't know I was going to sneeze.'

Watch that always reads: 'Later'.