Desk Disrupter Pillows

"I consider myself to be a counterproductive member of society."

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

Business leader to group: 'Who's making the donkey sounds?'

"And to think all these years you've worried about some boy wonder taking over your job."

Could I have a minute of your valuable time, Timpson?

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

'before you say 'all this will be yours', I don't want it.'

"I can really picture settling down and destroying a suburban family's attic with you."

The Big Idea vs The Small Change

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

"...but before we begin our slide presentation on accounts receivable...this is how I make a bunny!"

Man painting over a computer screen.

What If?

"You majored in cyber hacking and institutional sabotage?. . . Hired!"

'I don't want to ride you, Hawthorne, but I'd say you've got a serious attitude problem.'

"So, any other ideas as to how we can be more disruptive?"

"Who will admit to folding the printout into a paper airplane?"

"Pawn to King Four."

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz - 'How did my life get this dull?'

'They tried to GAG her but they can NEVER stop her 'dance of neglect on the ward'!'

"Look! It came pre-defaced by the artist."

'Would you kindly not trumpet and simply say 'aye'?'

The board meeting was quite dignified until somebody started a pie chart fight.

"If this guy doesn't wrap it up real soon, I'll reflect sunlight off my watch and set off the sprinklers."

A man exits his house to a clapboard.

PC and The Web is the wrecking ball.

'When you're finished laughing, perhaps you'll let me finish the joke.'

Master dog trainer.

I have laryngitis. I lost my voice screaming because the internet generation is so self-centered. You write self-centered blogs, internet sites, and now you tweet. You are navel-gazing narcissists. Aaaah. Getting yelled at by a sign. Tap tap tap tap.

'The people can rest assured this committee is comprised of seasoned legislators...for the most part.'

This Amount of Computer Code

Occupy crunch