Dairy Free Diner Gifts

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Would you like to see the markup?"

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

The Nihilist Deli.

"Just the steak for me and my friend will have the carbon dioxide and the water with the sunlight."

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"

"I eat the genetically modified flounder all the time and it's delicious."

'Are you sure this salmon was farm-raised?'

'They use paper plates.'

"I'm sorry it's not what you ordered, but the chef works in mysterious ways."

"We use only free-range chicken and suicidal veal."

"Two steaks, cruelly raised and brutally slaughtered. Enjoy!"

Vegan Menu

'If you'd like to, you can discuss the question of eating genetically-modified food with our staff ethicist.'

"Waiter, there's a greenfly in my soup!"

"My lab tests are in. I'm lactose intolerant."

Mouse, caught in trap after attempting to get cheese, says: 'That's it ??" I'm quitting dairy.'

"All the entrées are vegan, but they taste as good as endangered species."

'My secret for long life? I've always drunk, smoked, made out with women...and hated yogurt.'

'Do eat it quickly, sir -- it's organically grown, you know.'

'Excuse me, is this cutlery carbon neutral?'

'Well, that was sustainable dining...until we got the bill.'

"I think the soup might be just a bit too salty."

"Hmmmmm -- Choices, choices..."

'Do you have another menu of what I can have?'