Dairy Farmer Gifts

"She's so Jersey."

About time!

"I sometimes wonder if I should have invested so much in the one cow."

The miracle of genetic engineering

"So, you're telling me that my assets have been frozen?"

Never give a cow a giant straw.

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

"Not only is the grass greener but we get free Wi-Fi too!"

'They are completely free of growth hormones.'

"In this heat the cows only give milk powder!"

'So help me Francine, if he doesn't warm his hands this time, there'll be trouble!'

A Wisconsin Cheesescape

"No, there's nothing wrong with her. Daisy here has been bred only to produce skimmed milk."

"I hear he inherited this milk farm."

"That was definitely mine."

"By the way, I'm taking off the first two weeks in August."

'I can take nonsense, but not udder nonsense.'

'Now this will be my 'watch you do the milking' stool.'

R.I.P. Ted Jones, Dairy Farmer, Best before date Oct. 7, 1987

'That's an ancestor of mine with her cool aerobics machine that also churned butter!'

'Well, nobody's perfect.'

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

'I'm gonna go.... Where no cow has gone before!'

'Being a dairy-cow is quite an easy job, but it's the dawn start every single day that's hard to get used to.'

"I'm not sure what we're seeing but I think it's some kind of antique milking machine."

Milk truck with udders.

Milk For Sale!! Low Prices!! No Middlemen!

'No use crying over spilt milk.'

"Barry made the wine. I made the cheese."

"But she'll come down eventually, and she'll come down hard."

Don't worry, the first 30 years of working with dairy goats are the hardest.

'Room for cream?'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"Another drop in milk prices? Aren't we getting squeezed enough already?"