Dairy Farm Laugher Gifts

'I dunno. Looks like some kind of milking machine but she's wearing it all wrong.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"We the jury, find the defendant to be as guilty as he looks."

"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."

"You've been around here longer than I have. What are 'congressional ethics'?"

'Ooops. Any chance we could blame this on El Nino or climate change?'

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

Coast to coast.

Jury Bribes.

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

'The computer must be on the blink if it sent a questionnaire to him!'

'Litigate not, least ye be litigated against!'

'The Wedge. I thought you asked me for the Wedgie.'

"I thought you said you were watching your weight!"

'Don't tell me we live in a litigious society... I ought to sue you for saying that!'

Please Keep Pets on Leash.

Escaping surgery.

You did what? I posted your last will and testament on all the social networks. Now everyone knows you left your feminine hygiene products to the Smithsonian. Why would you do that you @#$%^?! Ugly picture taken. Posting to Facebook … now. Well-played, cretin.

'I drank to a lawyer's health, and now he's slapped me with a malpractice suit.'

'We're looking for a mother figure.'

"You bite me again and I'll sue."

"That's OK. I'll get the next one."

'Never ever will I move by train again.'

"Yes, they offer free delivery. But when an on-line seller laughs, does their belly shake like a bowl full of jelly?"

'Both prosecution and defense must submit any unwritten laws in writing.'

'Well I'll be damned, you got me on a technicality.'

'I don't teach my students about the Bill of Rights any more -- it just makes them unruly.'

'Mine is a rags to riches story. Actually, it's more like an off-the-rack to a $20 billion family hedge fund story.'

"Well, the satnav said turn left."

"I don't have to worry about my investments; it's a perk of not having any."

They Say It's Too Easy To Sue, But Nothing Could Be Further From the Truth