Dairy Farm Laugher Gifts

'I dunno. Looks like some kind of milking machine but she's wearing it all wrong.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"We the jury, find the defendant to be as guilty as he looks."

"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."

"You've been around here longer than I have. What are 'congressional ethics'?"

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

'Ooops. Any chance we could blame this on El Nino or climate change?'

Coast to coast.

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

Jury Bribes.

'The computer must be on the blink if it sent a questionnaire to him!'

'Litigate not, least ye be litigated against!'

"I thought you said you were watching your weight!"

'I drank to a lawyer's health, and now he's slapped me with a malpractice suit.'

'We're looking for a mother figure.'

Escaping surgery.

Please Keep Pets on Leash.

'Don't tell me we live in a litigious society... I ought to sue you for saying that!'

'Both prosecution and defense must submit any unwritten laws in writing.'

'Well I'll be damned, you got me on a technicality.'

"Yes, they offer free delivery. But when an on-line seller laughs, does their belly shake like a bowl full of jelly?"

'Never ever will I move by train again.'

"You bite me again and I'll sue."

"That's OK. I'll get the next one."

'I don't teach my students about the Bill of Rights any more -- it just makes them unruly.'

"Well, the satnav said turn left."

'Mine is a rags to riches story. Actually, it's more like an off-the-rack to a $20 billion family hedge fund story.'

"I don't have to worry about my investments; it's a perk of not having any."

Bird Pool